Anticipating Results

Tonight I am anticipating tomorrow when I will see the results for the first phase of my research. It took me a month and a half to get the methods down on my "practice" frog skin. This Tuesday I started on the "real" frog skin. In what took a month and a half with the practice will be at an end tomorrow with my real frog skin. I guess all of the practice paid off! But I'm worried about the results. Tomorrow I found out if I have been wasting my time. I found out if my hypothesis will not be supported. I found out if maybe I messed up. There are a lot of "if's" about tomorrow. I may also found out something exciting: that my efforts have not been in vain; that this frog skin does have antimicrobial peptides; that I will be able to move on to the next phase in my research; that a new species of frog will be added to the short, but growing, list of frogs with antimicrobial peptides...
If I do not get the results I hope for, then I feel like I have failed. Not just that I failed, but that maybe I am a failure. I know that I am making a big deal of this, but it's hard not to. I feel like science is not just something I do but a large part of who I am. It is easy for me to get disappointed and discouraged about my research. But it doesn't stop there. Then I feel like...I'm not sure. I don't know exactly how to describe it. If I do get good results then I will feel very excited. It is like a rush and I will be walking on clouds for a while. I will feel so important; like I did something very important. But again, I think I am making a bigger deal of this than I should. Right now it seems very important to me, but when I stop to think about it, there are things that are much more important. And I am not out to change the world with my research, so it is not the end of the world if my research doesn't go just the way I think it should.
Well, I know I've just been rambling on and just trying to put my feelings out there. Now I feel a little better.